Random Jokes

Been reading and found these few jokes which made me really LOL.


Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
A: It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Satan visited a lawyer.

Satan visited a lawyer. He was interested in making him a special lawyers' offer. "If you're willing to give me one major thing, I can arrange a very special deal for you. I can multiply your income by five or even six. This way, everybody will adore you, look up to you, respect you. You'll be able to take as much vacation as you wish. Nobody will ever call you a lying, cheating lawyer ever again."

"And what do you need in return?" Asked the eager lawyer.

"In return I need your wife's soul, as well as your children's and their children's. Their souls must prevail in hell for ever and ever."

After pausing a moment, the lawyer asked, confused, "What's the catch?"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why corruption in Malaysia will never be eradicated ?

Because when officials met, they reminded one another:

- Official A said, 'Wa Salah Lu Mai Kong' (Assalamualaikum)
- Official B replied, 'Wa Mai Kong Lu Salah' (Wualaikumsalam)

Poll Results

Weird. From the poll results, I found that 47% get stuck in jams but 53% are the ones watch those who are stuck.

Logically, the 47% shouldn't be the one who gets stuck in the jam right since the majority of the cars are in the opposite direction. Which means that the other direction should be jammed instead.

This is weird


Or we can blame it on lousy road design

Only in Home Group

Home Group is a small group gathering consisting of around 10+ people in a home (yea). As for my group, we gather at Jocelyn Tan's house every Friday. We first have a round of ice-breaker, then worship, sharing of the Word and finally, food.

I enjoy my members in my group. They are a bunch of fun people. Like last night, they couldn't just stop talking even while I am sharing. Even when i kept quiet and looked at them, they look back at me and suddenly burst out laughing. What did I do?? These youth are just so funny.

Nope, I don't know what they had for dinner.

You learn alot of things in a Home Group. You'll get to know more about people, their strength and weaknesses. Likewise your members will get to know about yours too. But we adapt and understand more about the people around us and we work better.

fun during Ice-Breakers

But most of the time, we have fun! The gatherings are always full of laughter and jokes. Recently, my Home Group has created a new type of 'punishment'. Truth or dare. But we found out that truth was sometimes not the truth -_- , and the truth can be dangerous (Im sure some of you would know what I mean). So we just stick to dare.

Given a choice, I would rather choose dare over truth la. Haha. But knowing how cruel their ideas can be, it can be quite dangerous too. But still, what's the point of a punishment if it doesn't feel like one right? As for me, I'm definitely not one of the cruel guys. ho ho ho. Cos Im nice! *GRIN*

Here are some dares that we had, they're just so funny. Watch them!

1. Giwon ( we know him as Ki-Won) shouting " I WANT TISSUE PAPER!!" and a 3 seconds scream " AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!" watch how he hesitates Haha!

2. Jocelyn Tan - Doing superman with manual transission (1 hand up) then auto transmission (2 hands up)!





3. Dora - Holding the grill and doing the Tarzan Scream! (better lower your volume for this one)





I actually can't believe that they did it. They are just such sporting people. I am really impressed at them. Actually I can't imagine myself doing those. But I dont have to worry la because I'm the camera man mah. No one will get to record me! *evil laugh*

Just last night someone from my HG made an appearance in this! Guess who. See if u get it right when u see the person this sunday!




Yesterday's ice breaker was about drawing with your eyes closed on a piece of paper while I tell them what to draw. I saw really interesting drawings. Pictures will be uploaded soon. Be sure to see them!

Ivan's Farewell Dinner at Sakae Sushi

Ivan was leaving back to New Zealand. So some of the youth had planned to give him a nice dinner before he leaves. It was to be at Sakae Sushi, Pavillion at 7.30pm.

I reached at 6.30pm. Since I was early, I walked over to Angeline's office which is just a few blocks down to see her. We met Sui Li on the way back. Angeline was getting hungry and we decided to have some donuts at J.Co. We bought 3 and sat inside

From left - Almond something (Angeline's), Peanut Butter Something (Sui Li's), Belgian Chocolate Something (Mine)

It was extremely good. I like mine. Bitter-ish but rich chocolate. I wouldn't have mind going for a second. But we went to another shop and bought Yow Char Kwai.

Excited girls can't wait to get their hands on the Yow Char Kwai

So then it was time to head to Sakae Sushi. But Ivan was late. So we waited inside

From left- Donno whose hand, Justin, Fook Sim, Jocelyn, Me

After waiting for a bit, Ivan showed up and we started to eat. I was so engrossed eating I forgot to take pictures.

After dinner, the 3 geniuses Justin, Daniel Loo and Nicholas decided to play a counting game with only the guys and wherever the number stops at a guy, that guy has to eat a sushi with a whole lot of wasabi ( game description not important lah)

There were 5 remaining sushis, which means 5 rounds

Sadistic Wasabi Brewer, Justin- just look at that grin

Those 5 innocent Sushis became like this



I can tell you that Iggy was the most scared of all of us. His expressions were priceless.

Eh why la put so much wasabi??

And so the game began!

Each round when they were counting, I got scared.

and so, the 5 unlucky guys were..

1. Fook Sim

Hah?? you all counted correctly anot wei?? pakat one is it??

2. Bernard

Small thing la

3. Iggy

Ama, why me la??

4. Nicholas

why put so little la *covers nose from camera*

5. John Reuben

Girls, watch me

So all of them had to each eat the 'defiled' sushis.

They look like they just won the oscar

We were the loudest table at that place. Other customers were just looking at us going crazy cheering, clapping and cheering their heads off. Somehow for some reason, all of them wanted me to kena! I don't know why were they so wicked. Teruk.

But you know, as tradition, we just had to make Ivan eat some wasabi before he leaves. Its tradition la. Come on la, when it comes to tradition, everything is just right. And so we stuff a california wasabi roll into him!

I can't tell if it is hot, or he likes it

And the few of us took some pictures

After MUCH wasabi

Still high on wasabi

Then we paid and lepak-ed outside and chit- chat. Outside, Ivan caught Bernard and Nicholas 'playing'. But I donno, it just didn't look right.

These 2 also had their share of wasabi

Is this the side effect of extreme wasabi consumption???

What do you think?

Suicidal Foo Chuk

I love Yong Tou Foo. And I especially prefer the Fcuk Foo chuk over the rest. I like its deep fried, crispy, oily texture and the fish paste inside. Normally I'd just take 5 of them and a bowl of rice.




However today, one of them decided to die on me. Literally. It committed suicide.

foo chuk

All I could think of was

Why wasn't it the veggies that committed suicide

Journey to work

As most of you guys know, I live in Ampang and I work in Puchong. It is approximately 40km one way. Including the jams, traffic lights, and slow drivers etc., it takes a little more than 1 hour to get work.

As most of you also know, I am not a fast driver, ho ho ho. I drive within the speed limit, ho ho ho. But still, by going through this for almost a year, I am pretty much gotten used to long distance drivings and have mastered the stress-handling-during-traffic-jams art!

Leaving my house

Early in the morning when I leave my house, I think I leave expression-less. Probably I'll look like a zombie. When I start driving, I think me and most drivers will have this same expression.

What am I doing up at this hour..

If you don't believe me, why don't you try observing tomorrow. But the thing is, not many have pleasant drives to work. I am one of them. For Instance , it can be really relaxing at the start. Smooth driving.

clear road

But then as regular drivers, we all know which spot will the jam will start. Also there are those traffic lights which tend to change to red in the morning faster than any other time of the day.

Lousy traffic lights

I really don't have the patience to wait. When I see red lights, I cant help but to go

lousy red light!

To get to work, I need to use a highway. I actually prefer driving on the highway than being in city streets. I prefer the smooth cruising, wide lanes, fast driving and I have low stress level (until I see the toll booth)

Entering the highway

Like I mentioned earlier, experienced drivers know almost all of the jam spots. The anticipation of seeing the piled up cars can be tormenting. But then we have to just go head on to face it.

Some of us kill time by actually looking at billboards at the side of the road while driving. I personally don't event realise they were there until I took this photo.

Billboards at the side of the highway

Then here comes the best part. Yeah, the jam



It is really unfair that most of the time, the jam somehow only happens on your side of the road. Not the other side, but my side!

Unfair scenery

And it doesn't happen only once




Almost everyone by now would be highly uptight. Angry and frustrated.

Stupid la! Why my road always jam one!

But you know, through some turn of events, life is fair

Ahh, what bliss

Not to be a sour grape but,

Justice prevails

Things can be interesting for me when I spot some nice cars on the road. For example I saw this today




I think he did it quite well. Not the common souped up Perdanas you see daily.

I manage to snap this picture just before I reach my office. I like it




There is a poll at the side of this page. Please vote yea. Also, leave a comment if you have something to say. But nothing about me looking like a chimpanzee ok!

Ang Pao Party and Coffee Bean

We had our Ang Pao Party yesterday. You would think that it would be organised by people who are the kind to give out Ang Paos. But no, these two guys made it happen!

Iggy and Oliver

It was a change to have these two to organise a Chinese event. But hey, I was eager to see the event. Actually, for some reason I had the image of the event becoming something like this





It would be interesting to see the Lion Dance drums playing while a guy and a girl would be running around the green hills - with a bunch of donno who running around with them. Spinning around trees and rolling around everywhere, and suddenly she gets pregnant.


But good thing it wasn't like that. I think that the event was well planned and i think they both did a good job. I'm sure everyone who went to the party had a swell time.Well, I did.

During the party there we lots of interesting games being played. There was this game where two guys had to stand on a newspaper without the feet touching the floor. The catch is that the newspaper will be folded in to half each round. I paired up with Fergarsan. And we manage to reach to the semi-finals. This was how we did during one of the rounds.





I tell you, he was younger than me but he carried me. I felt so useless! Shouldn't I be the one being like this and carrying him instead??

I should've been like this!!

Supposed to be me

If like this carry two people at a time also can! sure win one!

Well it was pretty fun. That Fergarsan was strong. He carried me for a few minutes and was still smiling all the way. Which makes me realise, crap! i must be so underweight!

This is bad. I really need to do something about my weight. Younger people are carrying me with ease and that shouldn't be the case!


Then there were some sharing and dinner. After the event, a few of us decided to go for some minum at Coffee Bean. It was rare for the few of us to go for supper together but it was enjoyable.

from left- Angeline, Oliver, Iggy, Sui Li, Kam Fwei

Angeline and I shared a Malibu Dream (strawberry/Banana) . We were curious. I thought it has an 'interesting' taste at the beginning, but she liked it. "Tastes like yogurt" she says. But not bad lah.

We left at 1 plus. Tired but satisfied.

Chinese New Year

This is the first successful attempt I've made by starting to blog.

It actually took me quite awhile to reach this part where I can create my post. Actually, I created an account from last time, but when i tried logging in, it failed.

So with numerous trials and frustration, I'm here!

So anyway, I'll start my first post by talking about my Chinese New Year.

This year, my family and I decided to go back to Kuantan. I had my new car, well okay, 1 year old, and I was eager to test it on this journey. So I offered to drive there.

We left around 8pm and it was a 3 hour-ish journey. We left at the eve so that we could beat all the traffic. this was my first time driving so far(240km) and I didn't know what to expect. Would my legs cramp? Would I be sleepy? How terrible are highway drivers? The furthest I drove was actually to Malacca (?km) so I was anxiously excited.

We reached safely.

After unloading the things from the car, we went to our rooms. This is how my room looks.

It really has that kampung look and I enjoy it.

Later, we got hungry and we decided to head for some satay nearby.

Personally, I dont see why people are so crazy over satay. I eat 5 sticks and i get jelak. Maybe someone can actually tell me what's so special about satay. Can't even comprehand how ang mohs can eat like 30 sticks. Anyway, I was looking around for other food that I can order and I spotted burung puyoh. Haha! I ordered it and so did my brother. And it came looking like this

LOL some people are just so creative. It tasted quite good because it was freshly fried. But donnola, I thought it tasted abit 'off'. Tasted kinda.. birdy? But my brother didn't think it was. lol

We finished our food and left. And we slept.

This is how the house looks like during the day. Thats my car.

And the hall

and the backyard where I pull this lazy chair here to have my naps. Very breezy I tell you! Better than fan. But I'm not used to this chair. I end up waking up with line marks all over my body. oh thats part of my mom at the bottom. She reads there too.

Also, there's this cat where it always roams at the backyard. It was so cute that my brother and I likes disturbing playing with her. She likes rubbing herself on your arms, legs, and ..places..

Here 's me with the cat

Here's my brother with the cat

And you know, she has that 'Puss-In-Boots' type of eyes! It was to die for! Don't believe me, take a look at this!

You can't help but to go "awwwww..."


We went to the beach. Kuantan's beach is so commercialized. Drive-thru McDonalds, KFC, food courts, shops and more everywhere. Even the floor is paved. They're beautiful.




At night, it is even packed with people.




Its something like going to Petalling Street with stalls all around. But here, instead of having stalls, you can find this


Thats right, live drawings! There are about 4-5 of them. I was so impressed because it looks real! And its really cheap too. RM20 for a live image and RM30 for photo drawing.

I tell you I was so tempted to ask them to draw me, but dowanla, paiseh la let people look at you. Somemore how to smile for like 20 minutes. If you don't smile, your drawing would look like your funeral picture.Haha. Better give picture. But unfortunately I didn't have any.

Well, next time when I go back to Kuantan, I'll be sure to bring some photos with me