Random Jokes

Been reading and found these few jokes which made me really LOL.


Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
A: It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

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Satan visited a lawyer.

Satan visited a lawyer. He was interested in making him a special lawyers' offer. "If you're willing to give me one major thing, I can arrange a very special deal for you. I can multiply your income by five or even six. This way, everybody will adore you, look up to you, respect you. You'll be able to take as much vacation as you wish. Nobody will ever call you a lying, cheating lawyer ever again."

"And what do you need in return?" Asked the eager lawyer.

"In return I need your wife's soul, as well as your children's and their children's. Their souls must prevail in hell for ever and ever."

After pausing a moment, the lawyer asked, confused, "What's the catch?"

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Why corruption in Malaysia will never be eradicated ?

Because when officials met, they reminded one another:

- Official A said, 'Wa Salah Lu Mai Kong' (Assalamualaikum)
- Official B replied, 'Wa Mai Kong Lu Salah' (Wualaikumsalam)